Tag: Confidence

The Sweet Spot of Discomfort

Posted on by Jill

One of the principles of natural horsemanship is to work your horse in short bursts outside of his comfort zone. The idea is that the familiar no longer stimulates his learning, so moving from familiar to unfamiliar and right back to familiar sandwiches new learning between something he is comfortable with. Slowly his training zone encompasses what used to be scary, so that new experience becomes familiar.

Think about this principle in your life. Remember when that new job, new sport or new experience gave you an anxious or excited feeling and now it has become routine.

When was the last time you pushed yourself a little bit to venture into uncharted territory. We are not talking about something that will blow your mind, just something that when you imagine it is slightly uncomfortable.

Imagine that experience, something you really want to do. Now imagine deciding it is too….something, too risky, too scary, too new. Close your eyes and scan your body after deciding not to do it. Do you feel relieved or disappointed? If you feel disappointed this is something you are ready to lean into.

How do you begin?

  1. Make a concrete decision to engage in the experience, even if it feels scary.
  1. Create a simple plan to prepare for the experience. What are the skills necessary to complete the experience?
  1. Break those skills down into small manageable steps.
  1. Create a realistic timeline by enlisting the help of someone with experience in this area. For example if you have always wanted to go ballroom dancing, ask an instructor to outline the process and time involved for learning one or two dances. Does it involve weekly lessons? How many hours of practice generally to prepare?
  1. Set a timeline based on your simple steps for your first experience. Ask someone who has already lived the experience to give you an idea of a realistic timeline.
  1. Start small and work your way up. By beginning with smaller experiences you build up your skills and confidence to handle the bigger experiences.

 

Live your life! It feels invigorating to push a little outside your comfort zone.

 

Stress-What is it really and how does it work?

Posted on by Jill

We have all heard about the negative effects of stress and how in today’s world we are under so much more of it but what is it really?

Imagine it this way-we experience an event (real or imaginary) and then in an instant we perceive that event. The event itself is called a stressor. Our perception of that stressor sends an automatic message to our mind and our body.

If we perceive the event as positive we experience what is called eustress or positive stress. We may feel energized or excited by it. It might give us energy to perform well in things like a competition, gig, speech, academic requirement or job interview.
We might even enjoy how it feels.

If we experience the event as negative we experience distress. This negative stressor might cause us to feel alarmed, anxious, panicked, tense, depressed or unhappy. We may feel butterflies in our stomach, or a tightening in our chest, tense muscles in our neck, back or shoulders. We might clench or grind our teeth, have a hard time concentrating or thinking or get a headache.

The moment we perceive a stressor as distress, our mind and body that are connected go through a series of chemical changes that are both short and long term acting. Over time and repetition this distress might impact our mind and body negatively. Diseases such as diabetes, digestive disorders, autoimmune diseases, a decreased immune system, migraine headaches, high blood pressure, cardiovascular diseases and high cholesterol are a few negative symptoms of chronic stress.

A partial list of emotional symptoms can include; insomnia, emotional eating, anxiety (social anxiety, agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, post traumatic stress disorder) depression, anger and resentment, a short attention span, difficulty maintaining relationships and difficulty coping with work.

Understanding that these symptoms are treatable is the first step towards change. Counselling and Hypnotherapy in combination can release the built up negative emotional pressure that results from chronic stress and allow you to find a calm, safe place from which to re engineer the areas in your life creating the distress. Counselling and hypnotherapy can allow you to balance out your life so that it is enjoyable, positive and fulfilling.

Living Now!

Posted on by Jill

The New Year is always a time for people to reflect on the past year and make resolutions for the year to come. Often the goals we set involve changing behaviours and habits we have lived with for a long time. It takes time to replace old habits with new ones and in the moment we often feel energized to jump into to “our new way” and then many people become discouraged when habits are not immediately different.

I encourage everyone to focus on the present right now and begin to embrace changing one small thing at a time,enjoying the process of now rather looking towards the future.

Today find one small thing you are comfortable with and wanting to do differently, whether it’s moving your body just for today! Putting healthy nutritious food into your body just for today! Notice how empowering it feels to allow yourself to make that change. Notice how good it feels to be able to do that for yourself. Your confidence and self esteem increases with every little moment of change you choose to allow yourself to make and tomorrow is another day to do the same!

Now smile and enjoy it!

Gain Confidence

Posted on by Jill

As an elite national athlete in a sport that relies strongly on mental strength and confidence in ones ability, working with Jill has given me the tools through hypnosis, to feel more powerful and confident than ever before in my training and in competition. Being able to find my focus and keep my focus throughout my routines has allowed me to become more consistent in my performances. Whether I am competing at a Provincial, National or representing Canada at an International competition, I feel ready and prepared for which ever obstacles I am faced with.”

S.D. Lower Mainland, B.C.

Gained Confidence

Posted on by Jill

Two years ago I had taken up horseback riding as an adult. I love horses and I love the sport but was overwhelmed by frustration because I was allowing my anxieties and fears to block me from progressing and fully enjoying the experience of being on horseback. I was physically and emotionally frozen by my fears and unable to think in the moment.

After my sessions with Jill I was able to break through many barriers and work towards and gain new skills that I never even thought possible. I am now able to jump a course and feel the exhilaration of jumping it with the horse instead of feeling the terrors of possibly making a mistake.

Happily, I would also like to add that this new gained confidence from riding has spread into many other areas of my life. Any expectations that I may have had of hypnotherapy had been greatly exceeded.

NT

Can You Lose Weight With Hypnosis?

Posted on by Jill

Yes, Hypnosis Is the Answer! Weight Loss Is Jill’s Specialty

I probably deal with weight loss and emotional eating sessions more than any other issue, and it seems that most of my clients are coming in by referral. Clients are coming in and saying “Do to me what you did to my Mom! (or Dad, Brother, etc.)?

The reason most people fail at weight loss is that the approach that they use is just too simplistic. Dieting alone will end in failure for most people. How you eat and how it affects your body weight depends on many factors. For example:

  • Family training
  • Mood and emotions
  • Habit
  • Quality of your diet
  • Sensitivity to different foods
  • Knowledge about food
  • Exercise level
  • Genetic predisposition, etc.

Programs that do not take a number of these factors into consideration are going to have only limited success. Limited in either the amount of weight you lose or how long you can keep it off.

Hypnosis or hypnotherapy (done right) affects subconscious factors such as family training, mood/emotions, habits and exercise level. Diet programs alone are unable to do this. Even diet programs that include exercise programs are not going to work for most people in the long run.

Most people who come to me have tried diets and have failed. They have tried exercise programs too, and have also failed. This is both good and bad. It’s bad because clients will come to me feeling frustrated because of past failures. The good news is that I do not have to educate my clients on how they should eat and exercise to lose weight. All I has to do is remove the subconscious programming that is getting in the way of their success.

Using hypnotherapy, specifically the 5-PATH system, I can remove the old programming that is causing you to eat out of habit, emotions, family training and increase your level of exercise. I will do this through the use of hypnotherapy and teaching you self-hypnosis so that you can continue to reinforce continued success for the rest of your life, or work on almost anything you want to work on in the future (i.e., self-esteem, confidence, motivation, stress management, etc.).

In addition to doing hypnosis I will also do some education. Part of the program involves teaching clients about the secret language of feelings. Yes, that is right, feelings have a secret language. It is because clients often don’t understand how to respond to feelings that they get in trouble. Rather than responding to feelings in a satisfying way (thus reducing or eliminating the distress of emotional problems) they wind up eating and then feeling even worse! Education also helps you understand the important role that healthy nutrition and moving your body in a way that is comfortable for you impacts your mood, confidence and energy.

Your mind and body are connected, when you allow one to be in balance the other will follow.

Allow me to help you once and for all feel the success that you have been missing and learn to enjoy this one body of yours.

Family Systems Theory

Posted on by Jill

Family Systems therapy helps individuals, families, communities, and organizations solve major life problems through understanding and improving human relationships. This theory is based on the knowledge that couples, families and their individual members function as an entwined emotional group that influence and are influenced by each another’s behaviours and choices. Counsellors/Therapists know that the relationship between the parts of a system – that is, the individuals within the family – can alter the whole system in sometimes predictable or patterned – and sometimes unknown – ways.

Family Systems therapy/counselling can bring positive change in challenging relationship patterns causing martial conflict, loss of self, anxiety projected onto children, impaired work performance, poor health, and feelings of emotional isolation. Therapists/counsellors work to improve relationships in intact, single-parent, step-parent, and other nuclear family configurations.

Looking at how the emotional system works in the family that shaped you helps me understand how you were conditioned to respond to stress or pressures within your Family system and extended social networks. During therapy/counselling, I will help you explore your emotional system, become aware of the automatic techniques you use to deal with stress, and recognize the resources and patterns adopted from your family system.

I can then suggest effective options for solving problems that have the best long-term outcome for you, your partner and your family

By knowing yourself and recognizing the influence of the deep connections you have to family and society, you can predict patterns, become less judgmental, more sensitive, while still remaining connected.

Hypnotherapy

Posted on by Jill

Hypnotherapy for Rapid Therapeutic Change

Eliminate Addiction, Irrational Fears, Improve Mood, Increase Motivation, Increase Athletic Performance, Reduce the Affects of Abuse and More. Rapidly Begin To Feel Better and Become More Successful in Life. Hypnosis used as a therapeutic modality often greatly increases the rate of healing through insight, by quickly removing psychological or emotional barriers to your success.

Hypnosis allows access to your subconscious (where long term memory, habits and emotions exist) where the material that needs to be uncovered may lie. Using hypnosis, insight and healing may be accomplished often rapidly because in hypnosis your mind is much more calm creating a mental environment where the vital memories and insights become more available for therapeutic work. Hypnosis helps you to break through the barrier of conscious to the subconscious.

I work with you in helping you make the kinds of changes you want, in a confidential and respectful way

Hypnotherapy is a form of brief therapy. Results are usually experienced from the first or second session. Therapy is usually completed after only three to four sessions, but may run as many as five or six for complex problems, though this is unusual.

Pet Loss

Posted on by Jill

Pets are a huge part of many people’s lives. More than “an animal” a pet is your companion, confidant, friend and often protector. Your pet is there to cheer you up, listen to you, make you laugh and give you love. More than anything, your pet gives you this love unconditionally. No matter what kind of day you are having your pet is happy to see you, even if you have only been gone for a few moments. Many of us love our pet so much that we attribute human characteristics to them. Pets seem endlessly patient, eager to spend time with you creating a strong connection.

For seniors and singles a pet (especially a dog) creates a connection to the outside world. Urging you out of your house for walks, where you often meet, connect and socialize with other dogs and dog owners.

The healing aspects of pets have been well documented. Dogs and cats are used for therapeutic purposes in long-term care and hospital settings. Patients calm down and relax while stroking a pet. What they give you is immeasurable and when you lose them it is often an agonizing experience.

The grief experience is often palpable and unavoidable. Your routine is now upset- no more feedings, walks or cuddling. Coming home to a house empty of pets can be a physically and emotionally painful experience. This process has no timeline and although it is experienced uniquely by everyone there are some commonalities.

Initially you may feel overwhelmed by your pet’s death and have a hard time processing and accepting it. This is often followed by intense feelings of unfairness towards the situation. These feelings of unfairness can linger for a very long time and may come and go in waves.

Eventually you may find yourself falling into a depression as you realize the gravity of the situation, you will never see your pet again. The emptiness of the house and the change of your routine highlight the pain.

Although the length and intensity of this process is unique for everyone there are ways to help you work through it.

First and foremost is to acknowledge the importance this special pet had in your life. Allow yourself to feel, experience and express whatever emotions come up. You are mourning a family member, allow that process to happen, accept and embrace it. Others around you may not understand your deep connection to your special friend and your consequent sadness. During this time take good care to spend time with those who understand and appreciate your loss.

You may choose to honour your pet’s memory with a symbol. Veterinary clinics may offer your pet’s ashes, a ceramic foot print or another memento. Choose to hold onto whatever you feel is important.

Pet memorial services are a nice way to allow others who loved your pet to say goodbye to him/her and comfort you.

When, how and if you add another pet to your family is up to you. Adding another pet does not mean replacing the memory of the pet that you have lost, but it can help you to move along when you are ready. Do it when you believe that you are able to emotionally focus on the pet you are adding as a new and distinct member of your family. This new pet, especially if adopted from a shelter, will love and comfort you as you continue your journey of healing.

If intense feelings of grief persist for an extended period of time seek out help from a therapist who can help you relieve this emotional pressure and get things back on track.